he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
