love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Please, let me fuck your mom
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
