In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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