dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
