I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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