I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
