wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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