K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
