i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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