I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
