my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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