i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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