it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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