I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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