Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
