This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
