dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
50% drunk capacity currently
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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