I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
