I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
