Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Even my vagina gasped.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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