we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
