I heard we made out
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
