the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
