i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
