so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
