please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I need a beard to bite.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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