my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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