Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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