Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
