Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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