Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
