I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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