College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
3 2 1 whiskey
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
