This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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