we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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