Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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