Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
