You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize