Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
