and you said cock pushups were impossible
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
