I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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