Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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