hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I wish there were birth control emojis
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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