You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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