Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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