he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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