Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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