Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
