You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
