haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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