Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
