She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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