Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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