there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
