All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
