I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
