I want to walk on stilts...naked
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
