haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
