Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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