Quick, to the slutcave!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize