Dual....:-)
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
